Feeling Blue over Mr X

Yesterday as I was putting together CLIFFNotes a call came in about someone's dogs finding and hurting a ferret. Ugh!

I drove down to Chula Vista from La Mesa, picked up the ferret and went to the Pet Emergency Specialty Center in La Mesa. They gave me the red carpet treatment. Was it because we spent $12,000 there last year on the dogs? Or was it because they call me for ferret blood?

Regardless - I am grateful. The initial Sunday afternoon diagnosis was the ferret had a puncture wound on one hip. The Monday morning, after X-ray diagnosis is much bleaker, something about spinal cord damage.

This ferret, who is listed as Mr X (I'm not always that creative) had that certain ferretude. I was hoping to get off cheaply, both financially and emotionally.

The price in both regards is going to be higher. It seems these days nothing is easy. But I know the ferret community won't let me down. We'll do everything we can - and I'm going to name this ferret Clifford. Expect a fundraising effort on his behalf soon.

Everybody Seems Familiar

I've been working pretty hard today on a non-ferret issue and subscriptions for CLIFFNotes keep coming in - which is a good thing.

But everyone looks familiar. I just got a subscription from someone named Amanda. That name and email address sure look familiar. But our database is nearing the 6000 mark - so I don't know or remember that many people.

Just to take a break I decided to count (actually the computer does it) to find out what is the most popular name in our database.

Turns out to be Michael, followed by Lisa, John and Jennifer. Amanda is the 9th most popular name amongst people on our list.

I'm also always interested in which zipcode is our best. It is Santee (92071) followed by Lakeside (92040). Looking at who visits the www.ferretsanon.com website, the most popular city is West Hollywood.

Nearly 100 people signed up for CLIFFNotes last week and 20 unsubscribed. Not too shabby. The finances have been a little scary. We were down to $11 in the bank account, but thanks to some very generous people, we're firmly in the black.

OK - time for me to go back to work.

Yesterday Was Not A Good Day

CLIFFNotes went out a day late this week. I really hate being late, it is supposed to go out Sunday evening, but the data wouldn't load on EmailBrain. "There system must be down - I'll have to be patient" I told myself.

Monday morning when technical support was available they told me my list was bad. The same list I've used for the past 2 1/2 years. Hello? Is there something wrong here?

So I switched to a new company - IContact. They are twice the price but the list uploaded in ten seconds. I spent 5 hours trying to upload it to EmailBrain.

In the middle of all this technical back and forth a call comes in from the adoption list. "Something terrible has happened... I need a new ferret" What happened? I asked. "Our dog killed our ferret - what can I do?" "Get rid of the dog" I answered before I could think about it.

"We did" was the reply. But was it the dog's fault? Was it really anyone's fault? But it sure made me sick to my stomach. I feel bad for being critical - I've had to deal with animal tragedies at my house.

Then I get an email Blizzard died. At least Blizzard died of old age (I believe) I hope we all go that way. But Blizzard, a ferret out of state I never met, I know he was special. I hate to hear that news.

There is a lot of anxiety at my house. I've been pretty much unemployed for 18 months. I've got great skills in databases, web development and marketing, but I must be too old to get a job.

I'm worried about my own ferrets. What happens if one of them gets sick? My unemployment insurance stopped because a past employer put something in the file. There is no money coming in until an interview. That darn Quito is just too skinny - I think he was born a skinny weasel.

Although life is stressful, don't feel sorry for me. I did manage to marry well and invest well about 15 years ago. I have a pretty good life. Its just sometimes life seems to not give any breaks.

I have spent my unemployment time learning a lot of new things regarding web marketing. I enjoy it. I'm trying to start my own company. I have my eyes out for a job, but I've never seen the job market so bad in San Diego since Ronald Reagan was president.

I Hate it When People Give up their Ferrets

Another email came in, on our guest book at www.ferretsanon.com about someone looking to place their ferrets. Because of the bad economy they are moving into an apartment and the owner fears the maintenance person will discover the ferrets and turn them in.

A "Free to Good Home" approach.

I have been answering the Ferrets Anonymous phone and email for 15 years - I hate this situation - and it is more common than you would think.

People must feel guilty for owning ferrets, they think they aren't providing them with a good enough home. Someone else out there would be a better owner.

I am haunted by by a case many years ago. A woman feeling this gave up her ferret. The new owner would not let her see it and the feeling was that something bad (and intentional) had happened to the ferret. The new owner seemed a bit of a sicko. That poor woman cried on my shoulder more than once.

Perhaps the maintenance person owns ferrets - its happened! Perhaps the apartment managers are more understanding than you'd think.

The last apartment I rented I snuck the ferrets in. No one can enter the apartment without advance notice. I just snuck the ferrets in the back room, not that that landlord ever did any service. I put heavy plastic under the doors and there was no damage. I also had the carpets cleaned before I left, no odor.

Giving away your ferrets could be a permanent solution to a temporary problem. There are people in Ferrets Anonymous who will foster your ferrets if you run into trouble.

Disagreeing is OK

It's not a secret - I don't care who knows, there is some serious disagreement going on within the LegalizeFerrets.org (or whatever you wish to call it) working group that is planning the next steps towards ferret legalization in California.



The disagreement involves how important is the Environmental Impact Report (EIR) in regards to ferret legalization.

I received an email this morning from one of my favorite ferret people:

Posting in CliffNotes for 5000+ readers to see that the group is in
disagreement is not only divisive, it gives everyone the impression that we are
once again fighting the old "my way is better" fight reminiscent of just a
couple years ago.

California ferret legalization efforts were previously notorious for their flame wars. We are basically paranoid to avoid that.

But what we have here is healthy. We have people seriously involved and committed to ferret legalization trying their best to get it done. We are acting like adults.

I've been involved with organizations all my adult life. Every organization has at least one dissenter. And what is really annoying about this person - is they are usually right! (oh, how I hate that - are you listening Betsy Hawyard?)

Plus - CLIFFNotes will never be sugar-coated. People subscribe and read it because they want to know what is going on. Its not just propaganda.

But we will never trash people, we will always treat everyone's opinions with respect and I appreciate the valid questions being asked.

Pat Wright
CLIFFNotes@legalizeferrets.org
http://www.legalizeferrets.org/

Negativity Rears Its Ugly Head or Why can't everyone be nice like Lance and Kimberly?

Ferret people are the meanest people I know. I am a ferret person. That is not a good logical starting point.

A Muslim attorney once told a group that while all terrorists are Muslims, not all Muslims are terrorists.

So I hope it goes for me. Although I must be far from perfect because I know a lot of ferret people in California don't like me.

Today's little flare up started when someone didn't like a suggestion I put out there. When a rude response came back, a rude response went out - "what charm school did you go to?" I sarcastically asked - and sent to the whole group.

Then this little gem came back:

"Pat,

I think you need to stop telling people what to do. This is another reason I refuse to join your little click. If I find my last name listed anywhere I will let you have it. In this state some of us wish to keep our names low key. Lisa"

So much for "How to Win Friends and Influence People" a great book from Dale Carnegie that I think I need to reread.

So my apology. And my admiration to Lance who said:

To keep from spreading negativity throughout FA, we all have to remember to keep certain things to ourselves at times. We all have a responsibility to the organization to make sure that you remain as positive as possible.

And Kimberly who chimed in:

I do realize that email's can be difficult because you can't hear a person's tone of voice. But I really think when a problem first arises it's best to nicely explain concerns or problems and see if they can easily be fixed. You get better results with honey than you do vinegar. I hope I didn't get anyone mad at me I just really want to see ALL of us try to get along and work TOGETHER.

And if I disapear - blame it on Lisa!

thank you!
Pat Wright
www.legalizeferrets.org
www.ferretsanon.com

I Never Thought The Day Would Come

Lance had mentioned he was thinking of doing this Blog entry - but for some reason I am inspired to write this. Perhaps it has something to do with this photo which is pinned to my partner's bulletin board:

On my partner's shoulder is Daisy. Daisy was the most remarkable ferret I have ever met. She was handed down from older brother to younger brother when I got her at 2 years of age. She lived another 7 years and even died cheaply. That sounds crass - but ferret owners know its hell to spend thousands on your ferret's cancer (or whatever treatments) and have them die. I have so many wonderful memories of Daisy.

I had Daisy when I met Jim. Ferrets were new to Jim and required quite an adjustment on his part. "Your condo smells like a game refuse" Jim told me early on, the beginning of a beautiful relationship.

The point is - back then, both my pets and relationship were not recognized. I always thought ferrets would be legal in California long before I could get married.

Last year we conducted a Field Research poll on our desired ferret legalization ballot measure. I was stunned when only 38% of Californians said they would vote to legalize ferrets. In talking to the San Jose Mercury News I told them "if we polled on gay marriage the numbers would have been higher." Ferret legalization was supposed to be a very uncontroversial issue.

What I didn't realize is that Field Research did include the gay marriage issue on the same poll and something like 42% of those polled said they'd support gay marriage.

I'm 49 - soon to be 50. Growing up gay in the 70's was very difficult - I don't think younger people can imagine and I hope they are having an easier time. It still isn't easy - but I've reached an age and a level of stability I don't have to worry too much what other people think.

However - there have been moments.

I applied for a license from the California Department of Real Estate. On the application I had to choose between married, single or divorced. "I'm none of those things" I told them - I will not ignore the commitment I have with Jim.

Jim has stuck with me through a lot. I called Jim when Rocky was taken from his vet's and euthanized - all because I am an advocate for ferret legalization. He met me at San Diego animal control. It was a terrible time for me. San Diego Animal Control told me they weren't going to euthanize Rocky that night - "call your lawyer" they said. They euthanized him 90 minutes after saying that.

I was on anti-depressants for three years after that. The doctor had me on 12 prescriptions over those years. I often thought he was helping me to kill myself.

Jim was the one who dealt with the seizures they caused and got me off the floor.

Jim rushed home when 9 armed agents broke down our front door to confiscate the ferrets after a child grabbed Raleigh (Daisy got blamed for it, the police department had taken a polaroid of the "suspect") and got scratched at Balboa Park.

Jim visited me twice a week for the 17 days I spent in maximum security at at the George Bailey detention center.

I wrote in "domestic partner" on the real estate license application. It was denied, for among other things, "Failed Family Relationships." F.U. Department of Real Estate.

Jim and I are quite a pair. Imagine if Martha Stewart and Joanne Embry were lesbians - we'd be the male version.

When I met Jim I had three ferrets, one being Gonzo. Gonzo must have been inbred - he was "special." He loved the sound of broken glass. Guess what Jim likes to collect? We made a deal, if the ferrets break anything in their room, too bad. Elsewhere in the house I have to pay for it.

If you call the San Diego Ferrets Anonymous office you are likely to hear Jim in the background yell "Clean this ferret shit up and use the disinfectant." I would think it is not an emergency and could wait. I'd clean it up before I went to bed.

Relationships require a lot of work. I'm afraid Jim has done all the work. He's dealt with me during my ups and downs and pays most of the household bills. While I feel very good about what I've done for ferrets, I've really sucked at making a living.

So for a couple of months at least - we have the option of getting married. Who could have imagined that?

I hope it is followed by the opportunity to have legal ferrets! I would love to take the ferrets out and about and maybe that isn't such a far off dream as it once seemed.